My personal battle between food and appearance is so rooted in history that I think even the first George Bush put forth a bill to congress that would force me to stop bitching about it. It's not that I'm an unhappy person. For the most part, I love my life.
I'm a Leo, which means what you see is what you get, and I have a loving nature. However, it also means that I am intense. Um, yeah, that may describe me just a bit. No where on any descriptions of Leos do I see anything about incredible personal judgment. I hold myself to high standards and if I don't meet them, it's like being run over by heavy farm equipment.
To date, I've been pretty successful in my undertakings. Graduated college in 4 years, had great jobs, made great money, made and maintained great friendships, married the man of my dreams, have an amazing son... The one part of my life that always seems so off kilter is food and my weight. I am a chronic dieter. I'm really good at them. If I could made money doing it, I wouldn't be monetizing this blog one of these days.
You may be wondering "If you're so good at dieting, why are you always dieting? Wouldn't a good dieter find a diet that works and find things easy from there?" No, not in my case. I'm excellent at trying new diets and normally following them so much to a "T" that I drive my family nuts. You know, like bringing my own bread to family dinners to be sure that I don't have bread containing high fructose corn syrup, or serving my husband mock belgian waffles made of ricotta cheese. Yes, they exist, and no, it didn't go well...
There have been so many diets that I've jumped head first into and found myself swimming beautifully for the first few hundred feet, only to end up like Jaw's first victim, flailing about in the water and screaming but having nobody around to hear me. The first few days/weeks were always great. Then it would start The boredom. The monotony. The disgust.
When I counted calories, I nearly fainted when I found out that the bag of animal crackers (low fat) I'd been eating for weeks on end was actually 2 servings. Who only eats HALF a bag of something?
When I watched my fat intake, I could feel vomit rising in my throat at the mere thought of fat free Italian dressing.
Remember the cabbage soup diet? The one developed by doctors for patients going into surgery but not really developed by any sane doctor at all??? Eat nothing but bananas on the fourth day. Not mentioned: Don't plan on shitting for at least 3 weeks after day 4.
I had my first Slim Fast at age 11. My mom was doing it and was actually pretty successful so it seemed like a good idea. Never mind the fact that I was prepubescent.
Post college I was a die-hard low-carber. At least I thought I was. Do you know all the foods with hidden carbs????
I followed the South Beach Diet with decent success. I was die-hard and saw some great results. And then I got pregnant and all I wanted was Hamburger Helper. That didn't quite fit the principles.
Post-pregnancy I took control of things and joined Nutrisystem. I really cannot say enough good things about the program. The food is decent (notice I said DECENT, not delectable) and I got down below even my pre-pregnancy weight. And unlike a lot of ill-conceived notions, once you go off the program, you don't necessarily gain it all back by eating regular foods. Through the help of the website, I learned so much about the actual program in terms of carb/fat/caloric ratios and kept that weight off for over 2 years.
It was that 2 years that I felt the best I've ever felt in my life. I loved the way I looked, the clothes I could buy, and had such incredible confidence that seeped into every aspect of my life.
Then 2008 hit. Like a friggin hurricaine. Suddenly I was indulging in all sorts of foods and not watching portions or calories. Far too many liberties. And throughout the second half of the year, I watched the pounds and inches creep back on. Only 10 pounds, but my clothes all became tight. Clothes I fought hard to fit into in the first place. I still have some leftover NS foods and only found myself undertaking failed attempt after failed attempt to get back on the program. With a family, it just became so hard to fix meals for them and then eat something different. I guess I didn't have the same drive, despite the fact that I was increasingly dissatisfied with my body. Again.
I finally had enough a few weeks ago. I picked up Atkins "New Diet Revolution" from the library, knowing I always do best when I am gung-ho about doing something new. And new it is, because as I read, I realized how incredibly wrong I had low-carbed all those years ago.
I am now a week and a half in and once again, re-energized on a plan. I am starting this blog because A) I LOVE blogging and B) I really feel it will keep my accountable for my actions. I've read other Atkins blogs and have been really excited and inspired. I know I can stick with something that I feel educated on and enjoy (as witnessed by both SB and NS) and now I'm excited to see where this takes me.
Wish me luck!!!
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